I had the chance to meet with notorious Cosign defector and &SCARR clown girl &REVOLVER&FUCK&BANG!, here is her story.

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Fleur Pearl Haruspex: “Who is &REVOLVER&FUCK&BANG!? Where are you from and how did you end up here on Arbor Point?”

REVOLVER&FUCK&BANG!: “Oh my, well - I’m a late-bloomer lace tech turned toe-buying clown shitposter!
I was born on Pluto2 to nice but Boring As All Hell, mid-level paper pushers. Hi, Mom 1! Hi, Mom 2!
I pretty much just did what they told me and tried to be a good little worker my whole life until about - oh - two weeks ago! I worked infrastructure shit for Cacheu Hydroponics and that ended me up over here. Really, I think me wanting to come out here was the first part of my brain SNAPPING about living in corpo drone hell for so long, but I ain’t a doctor or anything.”

FPH: “So, what do you think caused your change of heart? Anything specific you can think of?”

RFB: “I joined up with Cosign - pretty much right when I got here - after a few people thought I’d be a good fit for it. And I was! You’ll have to trust me, but I really was! The only thing was, for the first time in a long time, I wasn’t huddled up against only my own kind - other lil corp drones like I’d always been. They say the grass is always greener on the other side, but I couldn’t keep my E Y E S off the yellow grass over at Anscarri HQ. Cosign’s MO is Status Quo - oooo a rhyme! It felt like the fucking culmination of my whole life of being the goodie-two-shoes, coming all this way just to make sure nothing changed, everyone kept paying their taxes, that kind of shit.
I either had to go one way or the other - full-ass, burn-it-all-down, molotov-tossing revolutionary OR full-ass, burn-it-all-down-but-in-a-profitable-way, molotov-tossing hypercapitalist freak clown. So I went with that option - cus it’s actually just legal to do that around here!
Plus, the Cosign execs made the fatal corporate mistake of actually investing in their employee instead of themselves so I had a way to sell myself - Level 4 Lace access! I was Too Online, and now it was on my C-fucking-V, baby!
Don’t ask me why they’d give some random cutie pie like I used to be all those creds for max-level lace. They are SO silly over there.”

FPH: “When did you make the decision to swap? Was it spontaneous? Did you spend days planning it?”

RFB: “Oh goodness, it took a day or two. I talked with the good Bitch and the wonderful Death over there first. Bitch said I couldn’t hang after me no-selling her putting a knife to my throat and stuff. Death liked it though and invited me in for a chat. We saw the timing with the gala on the horizon and the debut of the new me was too enticing to ignore! It was SO WONDERFUL. Other than Bitch and a few others calling me “poser” all the time - whatever that means - they have all been SO wonderful. “

“The Cosigners were a bit P O’d about it, but I’m living for me know. Fuck them kids (in a nice way).”

[Revolver giggles.]

FPH: “Are they still mad about it over at Cosign? And are they holding it against &SCARR?”

RFB: “Oh gee, I hope they aren’t holding it again the Boss ladies! They were pissy at the Gala, but we said we’d talk about it the next day - and then I guess they just forgot! Or were too scared to come ask. I did start carrying a huge green knife around that same time. You’d have to ask them for the Final Word on that.
I think a few of them were under the impression I had a fat stack of creds left from the Execs that I was running away with. lol”

FPH: “Did you have any friends at cosign? Outside? How have people around you reacted to your career change?”

RFB: “I had some friends - but that was part of the swap. Even the ones I liked tended to be narcs about even the smallest thing. Make a joke to the admins on the PAN about some possible embezzlement and I had two reports and a talking to coming my way within an hour. All from my friends! That kind of thing isn’t good for a growing girl’s head, ya know? Del broke my heart when he tattled back to HQ. She frowns - massively.
Outside of Cosign, Sleezy and I are buds! I hope he’d agree. He made me the big green knife - before my swap. That was another bit of pre-planning I had to do. Important to have a good blade at your side when you are joining the finger-collecting faction!
A buncha other folks are friendly, but I didn’t really start being me and making real friends until I jumped ship. It’s too stuffy in that Cosign HQ!”

FPH: “Yeah, Sleezy is a good-un, funny guy, one of the first interviews I did on-station”

RFB: “He can certainly hang. Love him to pieces.”

FPH: “Do you feel like people outside of &SCARR are treating you different?”

RFB: “Oh DEFINITELY! Mostly, they just really notice me now. It’s hard not too! I’m a little different than the other &SCARR! though. They are all the Cool Ones, but I think I’m the Nice One. Hopefully that means I’m a bit more approachable - despite the big knife.
My posts on the network have gotten me a lot of attention too! That’s really my art, my passion. People like ’em - even though no one has actually sold me their toes yet. 🙁 I couldn’t even mention GUB on the lace without having to file a personnel improvement plan over at my old gig though so I’m SO happy to just have the outlet.”

FPH: “Yes, let’s chat a bit more about that. I’ve seen that gaining popularity, can you explain to me. What is GUB?”

RFB: “It’s SO good. You can get it in the basement of the &SCARR! HQ. Similar to a fluid, but well… gubbier!”

FPH: “Were you already Gubbing before you left cosign? Was trying it part of your decision to make the switch?”

RFB: “I was Spiritually Gubbing but lacked the physical means. Now, I gub everyay. For just 5cr, I can get anyone a bit of the lean yellow-green slurpeen, as I call it!”

[Revolver laughs]

FPH: “What does gubbing feel like?”

RFB: “It’s triangular, I’d say. Scalene chakras and shit. Wizard can explain it better than me. I just love the stuff!”

FPH: “Well, this has certainly been illuminating! Maybe I’ll even try gubbing myself?”

RFB: “Oh goodness, yes - you should! Come by the HQ some time and I’ll gub you myself, bestie! 🫶”

FPH: “I like finishing my interviews by handing over control to the subject, do you have any final comments you would like to share with our audience?”

RFB: “Oh, my final words would be an ancient - if not outright divine - proverb:”

Condone first-degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!

“Thanks so much for having me!”

FPH: “Thank you much for your time Revolver, don’t be a stranger. maybe we’ll be gubbing together sometime?
(or is that cringe?)”

RFB: “Kill the cringe inside you, mi amiga. Buy toes and slam gub!”